Iron Man

Monster not want to sound sexist, but Iron Man be waaaaay more fun and exciting den sekwel Iron Lady. Movie open on rich industrialist playboy Tony Stark, a guy who be seeing more… Continue reading →

Superhero Movie

Imagine mash-up of first two Spiderman movies and original X-Men movie but MUCH less hilarious.  Dat pretty much sum up dis tired time-waster. On to monster’s review… ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZ Old lady… Continue reading →

Underdog

Bad!  Bad doggy movie.  It lie down and play dead for almost one hour and twenty two minutes!. Me know, me know.  ”Come on, Monster.  It be a kidz movie!  Turn off your… Continue reading →

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Benign and inoffensive.  Dat pretty much sum up dis movie.  On de one hand, it not sink to craptastic lows of first FF movie; on de other hand, it never quite reach de… Continue reading →

Spiderman 3

As rule of thumb, you know you in for crappy viewing experience when SUPERHERO movie you watching kick off wit MUSIKAL NUMBER.  Let just say dat, after sitting thru rest of dis film,… Continue reading →

Zoom

Dis be less a movie and more an interminable collektion of lame musical montage sekwences punctuated by occasional attempts at a plot, charakter development and, worst of all, humor. It say a lot… Continue reading →

Lightspeed

Dis movie suck more den Grover’s aunt Tildy at a Shriner’s convention. Movie begin wit guy walking down a dark alley where he encounter shaky creep hiding under dirty blanket.  To most sane… Continue reading →

My Super Ex-Girlfriend!

Dis movie reminiscent of monster’s ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster’s L’Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover.  For two… Continue reading →

Superman Returns!

Dis movie more boring den Fozzie Bear’s off-off-off Broadway production of “Old Coronation Street Episodes”.  It so bad dat monster invite friends over and invent Superman Returns drinking game. Everytime someone begin to… Continue reading →

X-Men: The Last Stand

On de one hand, dis movie not as good as de original or sekwel.  On de other hand, it not make monster want to vomit, kick in his t.v., or punch someone in… Continue reading →