Tag Archive: superheroes

Iron Man 3

Dis would have been a great movie if it had been half an hour shorter. And made a lick of sense.  Monster can imagine script notes session went someting like dis: Producer: Dis… Continue reading

Dr. Strange (1978)

Dr. Strange?  More like Dr. Creep!  Apparently, dis guy not familiar wit de Hypocritical Oath, but he all sorts of familiar wit “doctor-patient confidentiality”…if you know what me mean.  No?  Well, let monster… Continue reading

The Dark Knight Rises

Dis movie remind monster of Snuffleupagus after last year’s Oktoberfest: a big, bloated, confused mess dat hang around way too long after party end. Movie picks up 8 years after last one.  Harvey… Continue reading

Abar: The First Black Superman

Monster am drunk reviewing dis movie.  Why not?  After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it.  It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and… Continue reading

Chronicle

When is a found footage film not a found footage film?  When de makers mysteriously bail on de concept two turds of de way thru de movie.  Chronicle has distinktion of being de… Continue reading

Captain America: The First Avenger

No offense to Captain America but, technically, wasn’t Thor de “First Avenger”?  Dis de first qwestion dat cross monster’s mind, followed by “Dis entire movie a period piece?” and “Did me forget to… Continue reading

All Superheroes Must Die

Dis less a movie den it be a student film project gone terribly wrong. Poor akting, lame dialogue, weak direktion, and cheap produktion values be de least of it’s problems.  No, biggest issue… Continue reading

Green Lantern

What if Deadpool became Green Lantern?  Dis seem to be de qwestion dis movie try to answer. Unlike it’s more ambitious predecessors, Green Lantern aspire to be little more den a quasi-entertaining kids… Continue reading

X-Men: First Class

Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company – until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date… Continue reading

Thor

Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up.  It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin,… Continue reading