Tag Archive: superhero movies

KICK-ASS 2

Watching dis movie be like getting together wit former girlfriend after several years. You tink it be a great idea but, when show up for date, you diskover she really let herself go,… Continue reading

Iron Man 3

Dis would have been a great movie if it had been half an hour shorter. And made a lick of sense.  Monster can imagine script notes session went someting like dis: Producer: Dis… Continue reading

Black Scorpion

Boy, dere be nothing worse den doing someting really embarrassing like slipping on a banana peel and falling down a flight of stairs or making a really shitty movie.  Fortunately, dere be convenient… Continue reading

The Crow

Full disklosure: Monster not a fan of mimes.  It be a phobia me have (like heights, tight places, and Celine Dion) dat go all de way back to monster’s childhood.  Me often try… Continue reading

Dr. Strange (1978)

Dr. Strange?  More like Dr. Creep!  Apparently, dis guy not familiar wit de Hypocritical Oath, but he all sorts of familiar wit “doctor-patient confidentiality”…if you know what me mean.  No?  Well, let monster… Continue reading

The Dark Knight Rises

Dis movie remind monster of Snuffleupagus after last year’s Oktoberfest: a big, bloated, confused mess dat hang around way too long after party end. Movie picks up 8 years after last one.  Harvey… Continue reading

Abar: The First Black Superman

Monster am drunk reviewing dis movie.  Why not?  After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it.  It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and… Continue reading

The Amazing Spiderman

Hey, you know what movie NOT needed a remake?  Spiderman.  De original had fun, humor, a great origin story, and a colorful, nuanced villain in Norman Osbore/Green Goblin.  Dis new, improved (?) version… Continue reading

The Avengers

Dis movie have everyting you would expekt from a summer blockbuster.  Humor!  Fun!  Action!  Dazzling speshul effekts! Cracking dialogue!  Overlong running time!  And some developments dat not make sense – but be pretty… Continue reading

Chronicle

When is a found footage film not a found footage film?  When de makers mysteriously bail on de concept two turds of de way thru de movie.  Chronicle has distinktion of being de… Continue reading