Batman Returns

Batman Returns remind monster of solid gold eggz Big Bird get by mail order.  Nice to look at but empty and when send complaint, company stop taking your callz and it all end… Continue reading

The Rocketeer

  Zzzzzz.  Snort.  Hunh?  Me awake!  Sorry.  Monster up all night trying to finish Rocketeer for todayz review.  Movie is trowback to old cereals from de 30′s and 40′s your grandpa used to… Continue reading

Captain America (1990)

From direktor of Kickboxer 4: De Aggressor and Nemesis III: Prey Harder and producer of Breakin’ 2: Elektrik Boogaloo and Super IV: Quest for Peace (uh oh) come Captain America, de greatest American… Continue reading

Darkman

In his most understated performance since role of Rob Roy in movie me can’t remember name of, Liam Neeson play part of brilliant doctor who invent sintetic skin (lucky :)) but not having… Continue reading

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hoo boy.  Take one good idea wit promise, sell out and make it for kiddiez to cash in on merchandizing potenshul, den make movie about it but don’t bother paying for decent script.… Continue reading

The Punisher (1989)

Monster really looking forward to not seeing dis movie.  So looking forward, in fakt, dat me make planz to visit Wildwood New Jerzey for jellyfish mating seazon instead. Joe accuze monster of not… Continue reading

Batman (1989)

Finally, a supermovie dat not completely suck.  Only partz involving wet noodle main charakters, a butler who can’t keep a sekret, and bad guyz dancing to Prince. Movie star wit family lost in… Continue reading

Superman IV

Wow.   Superman IV VERY impressive.  It achieve someting not even General Zodd and Leks Luthor able to do = kill off Superman.  After dis movie, Hollywood say: “Okay.  Time for Superman V!”… Continue reading

Supergirl

Blargh!  Supergirl most nauzeating movie since Big Bird sex tape released online.  It so bad it aktually make monster miss Condorman. It was so terruble dat aktor Christopher Reeve refuse to do cameo.… Continue reading

Superman III

Superman III so bad it make Superman II look like Superman I!  It as if director Richard Lester read monster’s reviews and den, out of spite, get Superman to spin world backward so… Continue reading