Zoom

Dis be less a movie and more an interminable collektion of lame musical montage sekwences punctuated by occasional attempts at a plot, charakter development and, worst of all, humor. It say a lot… Continue reading

Lightspeed

Dis movie suck more den Grover’s aunt Tildy at a Shriner’s convention. Movie begin wit guy walking down a dark alley where he encounter shaky creep hiding under dirty blanket.  To most sane… Continue reading

My Super Ex-Girlfriend!

Dis movie reminiscent of monster’s ex-girlfriend, Mona Hildeberger. One time, she get so mad after me use dishwasher to dry socks dat she spike monster’s L’Oreal shampoo wit Nair hair remover.  For two… Continue reading

Superman Returns!

Dis movie more boring den Fozzie Bear’s off-off-off Broadway production of “Old Coronation Street Episodes”.  It so bad dat monster invite friends over and invent Superman Returns drinking game. Everytime someone begin to… Continue reading

X-Men: The Last Stand

On de one hand, dis movie not as good as de original or sekwel.  On de other hand, it not make monster want to vomit, kick in his t.v., or punch someone in… Continue reading

Sky High

Monster can’t help but tink dat if Wonder Woman had been my high school principal, me could have accomplished so much more in life. Instead, here me is doing movie reviews to help… Continue reading

Fantastic Four (2005)

Okay, yes, dis be garbage movie but viewer have to keep in mind dat it made in 1994 by schlock producer Roger Corman for miniscule budget and film never meant to be released…Wait.… Continue reading

Batman Begins

Batman Begins fantastik but END just better den average.  Direktor Christopher Nolan use Richard Donner Superman as a guide and, strukturally, both movies very similar  wit strong, backstory-rich, character-driven first halves dat eventually give… Continue reading

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

While watching Shark Boy and Lava Girl, monster reminded of great children’s movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Toy Story, and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – and how very crap Shark Boy… Continue reading

Elektra

Dis movie as confused as monster at Grover’s bris after me down four shooters, tree oatmeal cookies (de drink, not de cookie), and six oatmeal cookies (de cookies, not de drink).  But me… Continue reading