X-Men: First Class

Watching X-Men: First Class like dating smart, beautiful she-monster who be fantastik company – until she drink too much, start rambling, talk about her ex, linger over espresso, and leave you wishing date… Continue reading

Thor

Dis movie slower den Snuffleupagus backing up.  It take longer to get going den Grover de morning after Furries Night at Ye Olde Sesame Street Pub. Movie begin in 965 AD when Odin,… Continue reading

Megamind

If you loved The Incredibles, den you won’t mind Megamind!  It like a diet version of de former – great-looking and still enjoyable, but wit half de charm, humor, and clever plotting.  It… Continue reading

Green Hornet

Do you have low expektations?  Are you annoyed by tings like logic and quality?  Are you a cretin?  If you answered yes to any of dese questions, den you may enjoy The Green… Continue reading

Super

Dis movie remind monster of Christmas family dinner.  It sound like a good idea and everybody expekt a good time but, instead, it end up being sad, depressing, and somebody always get hit… Continue reading

Iron Man 2

Monster like to rate sekwels on what me call de Sliding Celebrity Sibling Scale.  It start at Clint Howard and go all de way up to Mark Wahlberg.  Given how much me enjoy… Continue reading

Super Capers

If nothing else, Super Capers prove dat absolutely anyone can make a movie.  You not need to have a good idea or a good skript or good direktor or good aktors.  Just two… Continue reading

Kick-Ass

Dis film be filled wit violence, torture, and a little girl charakter more potty-mouthed den Grover dat time he developed “chemikal burns” on his blueberries after jacuzzi party wit Madonna.  It be a… Continue reading

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Noooooooooooooooo!  BIRDSEYE VIEW of monster on knees, head trown back, staring up at de sky in anguish while me scream: Nooooooooooooooooo!  DAT pretty much sum up monster’s review of dis movie.  Me know,… Continue reading

Watchmen

Who watches de Watchmen?  Well, Monster for one.  All 3+ hours of direktor’s cut.  It longer den a superbowl halftime show and inklude raspy-voice narration dat, at first, gimme flashback to craptakular Spirit… Continue reading