The Dark Knight Rises

Dis movie remind monster of Snuffleupagus after last year’s Oktoberfest: a big, bloated, confused mess dat hang around way too long after party end. Movie picks up 8 years after last one.  Harvey… Continue reading

Despicable Me

It happen to monster all de time.  Me have fond memories of a movie or t.v. show, someting from way back in de day when monster have more fur on top and much… Continue reading

The Fifth Element

If watching Abar: The First Black Superman like being on two week vodka bender, den watching The Fifth Element definitely involve some heavy drugs.  You need dem in order to fully appreciate dis… Continue reading

Abar: The First Black Superman

Monster am drunk reviewing dis movie.  Why not?  After all, me felt positively sloshed watching it.  It full of weird cuts, funky music, bizarre performances, interminable montage sekwences of people driving around, and… Continue reading

The Amazing Spiderman

Hey, you know what movie NOT needed a remake?  Spiderman.  De original had fun, humor, a great origin story, and a colorful, nuanced villain in Norman Osbore/Green Goblin.  Dis new, improved (?) version… Continue reading

The Avengers

Dis movie have everyting you would expekt from a summer blockbuster.  Humor!  Fun!  Action!  Dazzling speshul effekts! Cracking dialogue!  Overlong running time!  And some developments dat not make sense – but be pretty… Continue reading

Chronicle

When is a found footage film not a found footage film?  When de makers mysteriously bail on de concept two turds of de way thru de movie.  Chronicle has distinktion of being de… Continue reading

Captain America: The First Avenger

No offense to Captain America but, technically, wasn’t Thor de “First Avenger”?  Dis de first qwestion dat cross monster’s mind, followed by “Dis entire movie a period piece?” and “Did me forget to… Continue reading

All Superheroes Must Die

Dis less a movie den it be a student film project gone terribly wrong. Poor akting, lame dialogue, weak direktion, and cheap produktion values be de least of it’s problems.  No, biggest issue… Continue reading

Green Lantern

What if Deadpool became Green Lantern?  Dis seem to be de qwestion dis movie try to answer. Unlike it’s more ambitious predecessors, Green Lantern aspire to be little more den a quasi-entertaining kids… Continue reading