Category Archive: Uncategorized

MAN OF STEEL

Watching dis movie be like taking in spectakular fireworks show. In sepia. While your girlfriend breaks up wit you over de phone. For two and a half hours. Movie open on alien world… Continue reading

Despicable Me 2

Original Despicable Me a fine movie.  Fine like 7-11 wine, Dane Cook, or de Minnesota Vikings in dat none be particularly memorable but all deliver in perfektly adequate fashion.  So, when sekwel, Despicable… Continue reading

The Phantom

Or, like me prefer to call it: Purple Unitardo and de Temple of Doom! Stop Monster if you heard dis one before.  A boy’s parents are murdered.  He train hard and become a… Continue reading

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie

Most superhero movies me have reviewed so far make monster so angry he want to go back to video store and punch and slap around employee, den kick him in de grapes.  But… Continue reading

Captain America (1990)

From direktor of Kickboxer 4: De Aggressor and Nemesis III: Prey Harder and producer of Breakin’ 2: Elektrik Boogaloo and Super IV: Quest for Peace (uh oh) come Captain America, de greatest American… Continue reading

Darkman

In his most understated performance since role of Rob Roy in movie me can’t remember name of, Liam Neeson play part of brilliant doctor who invent sintetic skin (lucky :)) but not having… Continue reading

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Hoo boy.  Take one good idea wit promise, sell out and make it for kiddiez to cash in on merchandizing potenshul, den make movie about it but don’t bother paying for decent script.… Continue reading

The Punisher (1989)

Monster really looking forward to not seeing dis movie.  So looking forward, in fakt, dat me make planz to visit Wildwood New Jerzey for jellyfish mating seazon instead. Joe accuze monster of not… Continue reading

Batman (1989)

Finally, a supermovie dat not completely suck.  Only partz involving wet noodle main charakters, a butler who can’t keep a sekret, and bad guyz dancing to Prince. Movie star wit family lost in… Continue reading

Superman IV

Wow.   Superman IV VERY impressive.  It achieve someting not even General Zodd and Leks Luthor able to do = kill off Superman.  After dis movie, Hollywood say: “Okay.  Time for Superman V!”… Continue reading