Monthly Archive: September, 2013

Iron Man 3

Dis would have been a great movie if it had been half an hour shorter. And made a lick of sense.  Monster can imagine script notes session went someting like dis: Producer: Dis… Continue reading

Black Scorpion

Boy, dere be nothing worse den doing someting really embarrassing like slipping on a banana peel and falling down a flight of stairs or making a really shitty movie.  Fortunately, dere be convenient… Continue reading

The Crow

Full disklosure: Monster not a fan of mimes.  It be a phobia me have (like heights, tight places, and Celine Dion) dat go all de way back to monster’s childhood.  Me often try… Continue reading

The Guyver

Movie begin wit an opening scroll, just like Star Wars.  Unlike Star Wars, however, opening scroll accompanied by voice-over because Guyver fans either illiterate or too damn lazy to read.  As far as… Continue reading

The Toxic Avenger

Dis movie about as subtle as Grover at a stripper convention.  It take a potentially funny premise, den beat it into de ground wit de most obvious and heavy-handed execution possible.  It as… Continue reading