Dr. Strange (1978)
Dr. Strange? More like Dr. Creep! Apparently, dis guy not familiar wit de Hypocritical Oath, but he all sorts of familiar wit “doctor-patient confidentiality”…if you know what me mean. No? Well, let monster put it dis way. When he around de ladies at work, he like Cookie Monster at a bake sale. Or Grover at a topless bake sale.
We introduced to Dr. Stephen Strange who be a psykiaktric resident at local hospital – and major player. And not necessarily in dat order. Dis guy more unprofessional den Dr. Bunsen Honeydew at a Science World “History of Lube” exhibit. He sexy talk wit head nurse and den kiss her – in middle of hallway in front of everyone – which lead monster to assume dey be in a relationship. But when good-looking mental patient end up in his care, he not have any problem hooking up wit her either. At one point, another female patient visit him complaining about painful ulcer. He say to her: “I’ve got an extra bed and I can give you something to help you sleep.” Sure you can, doc. Sure you can.
Today’s hospital special: Free Temperatures Taken!
Meanwhile, a sorceress who worships a demon puppet is given tree days (Why tree days? Why not!) to kill an old wizard before he can pass down his power to worthy successor – or, barring worthy successor, creepy doctor who happen to own a weird ring.
Old guy, it turn out, live in downtown brownstone dat renovated to resemble Fred Flintstone’s digs. He be shacked up wit younger man, Wu, who look after his needs and refer to him as master. Er. Yeah. Old man show him drawing of sorceress and tell him to remember her face. Really? How de hell he supposed to do dat? It be like police putting out APB on actor who played Archie Andrews in de live action movie and distributing comic book for identification purposes.
It turn out old man be on to sorceress and head out to confront her. She pull de old bait and switch, showing up, den disappearing, den mind controlling innocent woman into pushing him off bridge down to street below.
Old guy get up and limp away. ”Hey, buddy!”somebody call. ”You sure you’re alright?” Of course he alright! He only plummeted 20 feet onto concrete and get hit by a car. You’ll have to do better den dat if you want to kill a wizard!
Cue weird synth music! Cue inexorable extended guitar solo! Cue trippy dream sekwence! Cue astral travel!
Hey! Who took away my keyboard?!
Dr. Strange “treat” young woman mind-controlled by sorceress. He shake hands wit old wizard and get power – also, possible cold.
But sorceress gain entrance to old guy’s bedrock pad and string him up on astral plane where he lose his powers and resemble Alice Cooper’s dad. Dr. Strange follow and battle sorceress who, it turn out, really just looking for someone to love and have a baby wit.
Dazzling visual effekts!
Overwhelmed by Dr. Strange’s manly moustache, she try to hook up wit him – but he rejekt her and den blast her wit energy bolt just in case she not get de message.
Except movie goes on for another half an hour. Strange goes thru lame ritual. He become official apprentice sorcerer. He screw with street performer. Puppet demon punish sorceress by making her really old. And, mysteriously, a couple of scenes later, she back to her old self, on Earth, and now a self-help guru.
Now really De End.
Verdikt: Cheesy and lame but unintentionally hilarious and mercifully short.
Rating: 3 chocolate chippee cookies.