Despicable Me

1It happen to monster all de time.  Me have fond memories of a movie or t.v. show, someting from way back in de day when monster have more fur on top and much less on de bottom (if you know what me mean) but, invariably, when me sit down for a rewatch, monster always end up more disappointed den a client of Grover’s Male Escort & Drywalling Services Inc. (He not always get all de corners.  And me not talking about drywalling).  Scary movies be less scary, funny movies less funny, and sad movies downright cheesy.  Monster call dis de Law of Diminishing Returns on Returns.  And de further back you go, de more disappointing it get.

Which be why monster kind of confused wit Despicable Me.  It only tree years old and yet it come highly recommended from people who say it a GREAT movie!  HILARIOUS!  Well, dis movie be good, but nowhere near great, and more fitfully amusing den hilarious.  It be a perfektly “fine” movie.

Oh, me know, me know.  Why be so critical, monster?  After all, dis be a movie for kids, brain-dead parents, and people who just woke up from vegetative state.  Sure, but just because dat de case not mean it have to be half-ass.  Remember The Incredibles?   Toy Story?  Cookie Monster’s European Vacation and Toy Tie-In Extravaganza?

Supervillains = super dads.  Studies have shown.

Gru, a bald supervillain wit an almost incomprehensible accent, feel irked when a rival supervillain pull off pyramid heist.  So, he decide to go one better by stealing…de moon!  All he require = 1. One shrink ray, and  2. Money.  For some reason, nabbing de shrink ray be easy, but stealing cash prove an insurmountable problem for him.

And it only get worse for Gru when rival supervillain, Vector (imagine a slightly geekier, slightly eviler Bill Gates) steal his stolen shrink ray.

Testing new operating/doomsday system: Windows Armageddon 2.0

Gru adopt tree cute orphan girls and use deir door to door cookie business to infiltrate Vector’s headquarters and steal back stolen shrink ray stolen from him.

Cute as buttons.  Wait.  What you mean you not find buttons cute?

Of course, orphans end up growing on Gru and, when dey get kidnapped by Vector, he give up his moon-napping plans to save dem!

Little scene stealers.

Me not want to give anyting away, but it all end pretty much exaktly as you would expekt.  Still, dere be plenty of cute moments, mostly tanks to Gru’s adorable yellow minions and littlest kid who reminiscent of a young Elmo before he get all full of hisself and start speeding around Calabasas in his porsche.  Dese elements make monster want to check out de sekwel, Despicable Me 2.  Dese elements AND friends who highly recommend it.  According to dem, it be GREAT!  HILARIOUS!  Monster can’t wait!

Verdikt: Better den a punch to de head.  And Shark Boy and Lava Girl. But not Megamind.

Rating: 6.5 chocolate chippee cookies.